Saturday 15 December 2012

THOUGHTS: Focus

It seems we've lost it, focus. Thought it might have been hidden in the draw... not there. Checked the laundry bag... still no sign. It appears that after what felt like a 'big-bang-child-enthused-about learning-parents-feeling-like-they-have-a-clear-philosophy' occurred a couple of weeks back, S has given no signal that she intends to begin learning her letters any further. No request for reading eggs, not wanting stories during the daytime, not anything. Standstill. Did we become eager too quickly I wonder? Who knows, maybe it's simply a change of season, a period of downtime in which to absorb other topics... Who knows.

M and I had agreed that we should start a homeschool rhythm come the New Year, but with rest periods such as these I'm wondering whether a rhythm is an option? Surely having set opportunities to concentrate on letters/reading may create a feeling of 'chore' around it for her. Little steps I tell myself, little steps. I have to remind myself she's 3 and a half, with a lifetime ahead of her. But sometimes she talks and acts so skilfully that I think I apply too much emotional and intellectual understanding to her. I'm often impatient, with her, with life, and have to hold back to prevent overwhelming her with talk of the world, respect, and a thousand other topics that I want to enthuse with her about. But not now, maybe when she's older and we meet in a cafe for a coffee to talk of life. Maybe then I'll tell her all of the subjects that swim around in my head every time I see her learn, question, and jump up and down with excitement. A friend asked me once 'at what point do you think children stop demonstrating their excitement with their entire bodies?' I hope it's never. Whilst I'm eager for S to learn of herself and her world, there's a part of me that anticipates a part of her soul will still drive her to clap with glee when she sees Christmas lights or bounce around deliriously when she sees an old friend. 

Focus is shifting to the now... I hope. 
I'm learning to embrace it. 
With my daughter as my teacher.


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